Saturday, June 23, 2012

Might Have Been

Most of us have those 'might have been' moments.  Disappointed in where we find ourselves; depressed at the future we seem to see; sensing lost opportunities-whatever it is, the moment seems to come when we are down on our life.

What might have been if I had not been so shy around that high school girl?  What might have been if I had pursued acting?  What might have been if I had taken the other church?  Whatever it is for me or you, we mentally play out a scenario that seems to be better than what we have.  We tend to focus only on a positive what might have been.  The danger is we grow even more disillusioned about the 'what is' of our lives.

Think about some of those less than great moments in our lives.  What might have been if I had not survived with only scratches from rolling our family car three times?  What might have been if I had suffered a concussion or worse when I fell and my head bounced on the concrete porch in Warsaw?  What might have been if our van full of youth had not been running late in the Carolinas and we arrived near the interstate bridge just after a fiery crash?

Might have been could go either way.  When I find myself drawn to such moments I reflect on the what is because of the path and choices my life has taken.  I have a woman who has shared my life and has spent most of her adult life living too far from her family yet she loves me still.  I have 5 or 6 children (depending on how you count children) who have grown to be interesting adults.  I am filled with pride at how they handle the best and worst moments in their lives.  If I could only remember their names!

I have seven incredible grandchildren who call me grandpa, papa, and pa.  They can't seem to agree on what to call me, except when I won't do what they want!  Each one has given me moments of laughter and wonder and shared love.  I have a lifelong circle of friends who love me even if they don't always understand me.  With all of this why dip into what might have been?

My hunch is we miss appreciating what we have done and, more importantly, who we have been to others by dwelling on the might have been.  My hunch is you have touched lives in ways you never imagined and may never know because of the path you have taken.  I don't know what might have been but it is hard to imagine how it could beat the what is of my life shared with so many wonderful individuals who have blessed and bless my life today.