"Outsiders"

Outsiders are the not normal, the different, the ones to be 'cured', the misunderstood, and the feared.  Life can be challenging and hard for such individuals and their families.  Unfortunately we, the seemingly normal, add to the challenge by our view of such people.  What joy do we miss because we focus on a singular aspect of a person instead of the person?

When Cheryl and I adopted bi-racial children we were warned how much damage we were doing to these children.  Social workers in the African American community and Caucasian family and friends talked about how hard life would be for our children and our family.  While it has been challenging and often hurtful it has been, in large part, so because others saw the 'different'.  Racially mixed children and families decades ago were outsiders.  We saw only our sons and daughters, adopted or born to us.  And we loved them all and have found joy in our relationship with each one.

He was a troubled teenager.  Serious emotional issues were compounded by the fact that he was gay.  School was too much and teachers saw a problem child.  In the 1980s and 1990s he was an outsider.  "If he would just change" was the mantra of most around him.  But he didn't because he was who he was.  His parents loved him and found joy in the better moments of their life together.  Being an outsider was too much for him and he took his own life.

This past spring a young boy came running over to where my grandchildren and others were playing at Happy Hollow Park.  His physical movements were uneven and jerky.  His voice was high pitched and his speech was almost impossible to understand.  I could see the caution light go on in adults eyes as some children welcomed him while others quickly moved to other playground equipment.  My first thought was how sad this must be for the boy and his parents-sad to be this way.  He is autistic, he is different, and we tend to see him as an outsider.  I hope and suspect, however hard some days are, that his parents see him only as their son.  And that they find joy in sharing life with him.

Life is about relationship and love.  We seem to spend so much time on seeing the different that we miss the joys of the moment.  We seek 'cures' and 'changes' and isolate the outsiders and miss the uniqueness of each individual.  IF we really believe that, in some way, God's breath is upon each life THEN we are called to relationship and the celebration of whatever joy that life can bring to our lives.

One God, on human family, one wonderful mix of individuals whose normal is different than ours.  It's a wonderful world; don't miss out on the joy by seeing others as outsiders.