While we were enjoying lunch together my good friend, Al, wondered if he could ask me a personal question. I replied, "Well, you can ask." So he did. "I was wondering if your support and involvement with the gay community was because of your children." The answer was "No."
I think I was born to care about discrimination and respect for everyone. I grew up in a very small town in Pennsylvania. At the time no African American lived in our town. There was an unwritten but well understood rule that no blacks were to live in the community. Racial discrimination is wrong. An Hispanic Catholic family moved to town and found few friends. Religious discrimination is wrong. As a young boy I was often the victim of Bruce the Bully. Bigger and meaner than most of us we learned to be very creative in not being in the wrong place with Bruce. Bullying is wrong. Bill was cruelly called "CQ" by most of the youth. 'County Queer' is not a nickname you want to have! Sexual orientation discrimination is wrong. My cousin Ralph was a child we now refer to as "Challenged" or "Special Needs". Back then, in the cruel moments on the school playground he was called 'Retard.' Discrimination of individuals who do not fit our definition of 'being like us' is wrong.
In our life as a married couple, Cheryl and I ended up with quite a family. We have a gay son. We have a daughter who is Bipolar. We have adopted, racially mixed children. One time I was asked which ones were our real children. Really? We love and cherish each of our children. Each child is special and wonderful and just ask me about our grandchildren!
My ministry was built on the grace of God (no one needs it more than me), loving and accepting each person as they are, and standing with them whenever discrimination raises its ugly head. Not everyone in my churches understood or supported me but that is okay. If I am going to err in this life, as a pastor and as a person, I will always err on the side of grace-love without strings. Our failure to see the inherent worth in others comes with painful costs for all of us. Respect and care for each person is personal to me. Thanks Al for asking and helping me revisit why I do what I do.
Thursday, October 27, 2011
"Thank God for Small Churches"
Last Sunday Cheryl and I went to church with my family back in Reno, Pennsylvania. Reno is a tiny community of maybe 200 souls and it is a one church town-Reno United Methodist Church. Over the years membership and attendance have dropped and they are now part of a 4-point charge served by two pastors. Most Sundays there are more pews than people.
I found God's call on my life in that congregation. During my youth there was a nice sized youth group and our Sunday School class met in the choir loft. I 'outgrew' that small church as I 'grew' into larger churches. As the size of the churches I was appointed to grew so did the distance grow between me and the small church. I must confess that too many times driving Indiana back roads I would pass a small church, smile to myself, and be glad I was no longer being appointed there.
So we got up and we went to church, mostly as a kindness to my sister and mother, still part of that small church. I went not expecting much and found a worship service that was filled with the presence of God. It began with the pastor hurrying in from her service at one of the other churches. Two men were working to have the new sound system ready for her-it wasn't. She was unprepared and had no pocket or place for the wireless receiver. So she tucked in in her waist band. It would fall down her leg and she commented she was glad it did not fall down inside her dress. It did later! She called us to worship by blowing numerous times on a shofar-a ram's horn she had brought back from Israel.
They did not have a pianist so she jumped down and played the piano for the opening hymn. The singing was not pretty. Then came the special music-a bluegrass group of 4, a curious mix of blue jeans, white hair, and an over-the-top bass player/soloist. When they sang "I Saw the Light" and "Will the Circle be Unbroken" smiles spread out on the people's faces, voices aged and cracked sang along with the chorus, and applause greeted each song. Then, for the first time for this group, the younger woman sang "Let This Be My Prayer" in English and Italian-a bluegrass trio backed her opera trained voice. They ended with "Smokey Mountain Memories" sung by John, a father who has raised 4 sons by himself. It was great!
This was followed by a children's message with a hot dog tucked inside a banana peel, a prayer time during which individuals made announcements of upcoming events, and the pastor throwing aside the bulletin and her sermon notes. She strolled and cajoled us, meandering in the front of the sanctuary and in the recesses of her mind. It was great!
Forget the bells and whistles. Forget the large choir and larger sanctuary. Forget lots of liturgy and polished sermon. Not needed that day! I felt the joy in the room and I saw the friendliness and peace in the faces of those around me. I can't really explain why it was such a good service for me-don't have to. All I know is-thank God for small churches and the faith they hold for us.
I found God's call on my life in that congregation. During my youth there was a nice sized youth group and our Sunday School class met in the choir loft. I 'outgrew' that small church as I 'grew' into larger churches. As the size of the churches I was appointed to grew so did the distance grow between me and the small church. I must confess that too many times driving Indiana back roads I would pass a small church, smile to myself, and be glad I was no longer being appointed there.
So we got up and we went to church, mostly as a kindness to my sister and mother, still part of that small church. I went not expecting much and found a worship service that was filled with the presence of God. It began with the pastor hurrying in from her service at one of the other churches. Two men were working to have the new sound system ready for her-it wasn't. She was unprepared and had no pocket or place for the wireless receiver. So she tucked in in her waist band. It would fall down her leg and she commented she was glad it did not fall down inside her dress. It did later! She called us to worship by blowing numerous times on a shofar-a ram's horn she had brought back from Israel.
They did not have a pianist so she jumped down and played the piano for the opening hymn. The singing was not pretty. Then came the special music-a bluegrass group of 4, a curious mix of blue jeans, white hair, and an over-the-top bass player/soloist. When they sang "I Saw the Light" and "Will the Circle be Unbroken" smiles spread out on the people's faces, voices aged and cracked sang along with the chorus, and applause greeted each song. Then, for the first time for this group, the younger woman sang "Let This Be My Prayer" in English and Italian-a bluegrass trio backed her opera trained voice. They ended with "Smokey Mountain Memories" sung by John, a father who has raised 4 sons by himself. It was great!
This was followed by a children's message with a hot dog tucked inside a banana peel, a prayer time during which individuals made announcements of upcoming events, and the pastor throwing aside the bulletin and her sermon notes. She strolled and cajoled us, meandering in the front of the sanctuary and in the recesses of her mind. It was great!
Forget the bells and whistles. Forget the large choir and larger sanctuary. Forget lots of liturgy and polished sermon. Not needed that day! I felt the joy in the room and I saw the friendliness and peace in the faces of those around me. I can't really explain why it was such a good service for me-don't have to. All I know is-thank God for small churches and the faith they hold for us.
Tuesday, October 18, 2011
Who Speaks for God?
One of the candidates seeking to become our next president recently was quoted as saying "The outcome of the 2012 presidential election is up to God." Religion often gets mixed in with politics. I think it is a good thing if we hear our leaders speak about their faith perspective. Where I have a problem is when someone speaks for God.
Who speaks for God? Assuming for a moment that the above statement is true I pose some questions. Was the outcome of the 2008 presidential election up to God? Does God only decide the big ones? What about races for senator or representative or governor or town council? Do all political groups have 'the ear of God'? If so, does God pick and choose? If not, how do I know who has 'the ear of God?'
I am left wondering if this is a peculiar American issue influenced by our notion that we are a people especially chosen and blessed by God. Politicians, 'talking heads', and pastors speak of our unique relationship with the God of all peoples. Some go so far as to suggest we are a 'chosen people/nation.' How often have we heard someone warning us that we have strayed from God's will for America and there are terrible consequences awaiting us if we do not get back to rightness with God? I am wondering if that is a conversation common to other countries.
Would you say that when a political change occurs in other countries it has been because God chose the change? I hear little, if anything, about God's hand being upon political change and turmoil in England, the upcoming election in France, or the turmoil of the 'Arab Spring.' Are their outcomes also up to God?
Who is going to speak for God in the upcoming election? It won't be me! I believe in God's will for us individually, as a nation, and all the peoples of the world. I believe what God wills is that we live every day, as best we can, reflecting the very nature of the one who calls us. That reflection is about compassion, truth speaking, justice seeking, and loving unconditionally.
I can't speak for God about the outcome of a presidential contest. I can ask all those running for this office, for any office, to refrain from implying God may be on their side. I can ask them to be gracious, accepting of differences, and to focus on the great challenges of our time. And I can ask all of us to be involved in the process and do it in a way that brings honor to the name of God.
Who speaks for God? Assuming for a moment that the above statement is true I pose some questions. Was the outcome of the 2008 presidential election up to God? Does God only decide the big ones? What about races for senator or representative or governor or town council? Do all political groups have 'the ear of God'? If so, does God pick and choose? If not, how do I know who has 'the ear of God?'
I am left wondering if this is a peculiar American issue influenced by our notion that we are a people especially chosen and blessed by God. Politicians, 'talking heads', and pastors speak of our unique relationship with the God of all peoples. Some go so far as to suggest we are a 'chosen people/nation.' How often have we heard someone warning us that we have strayed from God's will for America and there are terrible consequences awaiting us if we do not get back to rightness with God? I am wondering if that is a conversation common to other countries.
Would you say that when a political change occurs in other countries it has been because God chose the change? I hear little, if anything, about God's hand being upon political change and turmoil in England, the upcoming election in France, or the turmoil of the 'Arab Spring.' Are their outcomes also up to God?
Who is going to speak for God in the upcoming election? It won't be me! I believe in God's will for us individually, as a nation, and all the peoples of the world. I believe what God wills is that we live every day, as best we can, reflecting the very nature of the one who calls us. That reflection is about compassion, truth speaking, justice seeking, and loving unconditionally.
I can't speak for God about the outcome of a presidential contest. I can ask all those running for this office, for any office, to refrain from implying God may be on their side. I can ask them to be gracious, accepting of differences, and to focus on the great challenges of our time. And I can ask all of us to be involved in the process and do it in a way that brings honor to the name of God.
Tuesday, October 11, 2011
Eddie
When Eddie was born he arrived in the world like anyone of us. In those first months of life his parents saw 'signs' that suggested there might be something different about their son. Still a baby he was diagnosed with Cerebral Palsy. Eddie was no longer just like anyone of us but he was still one of us. Growing up his determined parents worked to have him mainstreamed in school. One of Eddie's childhood highlights was winning a Soap Box Derby competition. He enjoyed riding horses. Just like anyone of us.
Eddie finished school, got his education, and is now a programmer. He drives to work each day. His family likes to play 'Skip Bo' and he plays to win. And he loves to dance! Just like anyone of us. I met Eddie and his loving family on our recent fall cruise. They were on it because Eddie learned about it and wanted to come along.
Each time that I was able to be with him on the cruise his smile lit up the room. He is very bright and seems to remember everything. His eyes reflect caring attention as he listens to you. He laughs easily and, did I mention, he loves to dance. He has more rhythm in his arms than I have in my body. He is the kind of person you would enjoy meeting and getting to know.
Yet too many times people miss the joy of Eddie because they only see the Cerebral Palsy. His physical movements often seem to be an act of contortion for something as simple as eating. He gets around in his wheelchair and the short steps he takes are filled with spastic motions. I could not understand his words but Mom and Dad did a great job of letting me know what Eddie was saying.
What are you going to see? Someone who is different, not normal? Someone who is normal with CP? It is too easy to glance at him and feel pity-he doesn't look to be pitied. It is too easy to feel sad for him and his family, wondering what it must be like for them. Facing their challenges, they are doing just fine-thank you. With a shared love and determination they help Eddie be as fully involved with life as is possible.His Uncle Dick told me about the time when Eddie got his driver's license and his specially equipped van. He asked Uncle Dick if he wanted to go for a ride with him. Uncle Dick's reply-"Absolutely not!" I had to laugh at the story and I felt the love in its telling.
To see only his outward appearance is to deny ourselves the joy of spending time with a truly unique, fun-loving guy. We laughed long and hard while on the cruise and, in his wheelchair, Eddie had his John Travolta "Saturday Night Fever" moves down pat. if only we had had a white suit for him!
Eddie and his family give me hope for a more open and accepting world. The privilege of their friendship is one of my best memories of our cruise. I left the ship wondering two things: Who are the truly handicapped? And-could I beat Eddie at 'Skip Bo?'
Eddie finished school, got his education, and is now a programmer. He drives to work each day. His family likes to play 'Skip Bo' and he plays to win. And he loves to dance! Just like anyone of us. I met Eddie and his loving family on our recent fall cruise. They were on it because Eddie learned about it and wanted to come along.
Each time that I was able to be with him on the cruise his smile lit up the room. He is very bright and seems to remember everything. His eyes reflect caring attention as he listens to you. He laughs easily and, did I mention, he loves to dance. He has more rhythm in his arms than I have in my body. He is the kind of person you would enjoy meeting and getting to know.
Yet too many times people miss the joy of Eddie because they only see the Cerebral Palsy. His physical movements often seem to be an act of contortion for something as simple as eating. He gets around in his wheelchair and the short steps he takes are filled with spastic motions. I could not understand his words but Mom and Dad did a great job of letting me know what Eddie was saying.
What are you going to see? Someone who is different, not normal? Someone who is normal with CP? It is too easy to glance at him and feel pity-he doesn't look to be pitied. It is too easy to feel sad for him and his family, wondering what it must be like for them. Facing their challenges, they are doing just fine-thank you. With a shared love and determination they help Eddie be as fully involved with life as is possible.His Uncle Dick told me about the time when Eddie got his driver's license and his specially equipped van. He asked Uncle Dick if he wanted to go for a ride with him. Uncle Dick's reply-"Absolutely not!" I had to laugh at the story and I felt the love in its telling.
To see only his outward appearance is to deny ourselves the joy of spending time with a truly unique, fun-loving guy. We laughed long and hard while on the cruise and, in his wheelchair, Eddie had his John Travolta "Saturday Night Fever" moves down pat. if only we had had a white suit for him!
Eddie and his family give me hope for a more open and accepting world. The privilege of their friendship is one of my best memories of our cruise. I left the ship wondering two things: Who are the truly handicapped? And-could I beat Eddie at 'Skip Bo?'
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