The Dark Side of Christmas

This Saturday I will become 'Santa's Helper' once again.  I really enjoy the twinkle in a child's eyes when they see me wrapped in red with my white beard.  My heart thrills to hold babies who look at me in wide-eyed wonder with no idea of what has happened to them.  I delight in whispered secrets, hugs that hurt, and even a kiss or two.  Christmas is the most 'wonder full' time of the year.

It is also one of the darkest times of the year for some of us.  Prior to my retirement I came to appreciate and look forward to our 'Longest Night Service' on December 21.  While the number of folks attending the service was never great, each person's attendance was significant.  We were a gathering of people holding on in the midst of our our pain and sorrow while living in the dark side of Christmas.

Psalm 88 is a song of sorrow and lament.  The last verse is a painful one to read or hear: "You have deprived me of friends and companions, and all that I know is the dark."  As Christmas comes with carols in the air, shoppers with a blank stare, gifts galore, parties and more there are those who carry heavy hearts.  It is tempting to try to 'jolly' them out of their sadness.  It is tempting to push them to parties that hurt to much when it seems all is wonderful but not really for them.  It is tempting to grab hold of the baby Jesus and tell another-"See, there is good news and great joy coming."

That is not what they need.  They know all that.  They feel more than that.  They do appreciate our presence.  Yet, perhaps the best gift we can give to those living in the dark side of Christmas is affirmation that it is okay to feel the way they feel.  Blue Christmas is more than a sentimental song from years ago-it is a reality for some people.  Professor Ellen Davis, commenting on Psalm 88, wrote these helpful words: "sometimes the only act of faith that is possible--for those who suffer and those who minister to them--it to name our desolation before God, and to implicate God in our suffering."

Reality is that life, at times, hurts so much we can barely rise up and function.  The Christmas season may be one of those times.  If you know of someone living in the dark side of Christmas this year, your gift to them is understanding, patience, acceptance of how they feel, granting them space, and sitting in faith with them.  For I believe God is with us this Christmas even in the dark side.