"Every Once in a While"

I should be in bed!  I watched the Oscars tonight for the first time in many years; in part because I control my work schedule now.  That is, except for the care of my life partner who will need me to get up at some point during the night to help with post surgery care.  I will never receive an Oscar for the recurring role of Nurse Norm but I find joy in being there for her.

I know many people did not, would not, and cannot watch the Oscars.  It is time for confession (the pastor said this morning confession could be good for us-I actually was listening!).  As a child I spent many hours playing roles, some in my mind and some with my friends.  I was Clark Kent to my neighbor Carol's Lois Lane.  Much like Clark in the Superman television role, others could not see me as Superman.  I managed teams and made winning plays using baseball cards laid out on my bed.  A pencil and marbles became bat and balls.  I even kept scorecards for each game.  I often think I was born a dreamer in search of answers. 

One of my dreams was to be an actor.  "The Mouse That Roared" was one of my shining moments on the stage-high school, that is.  I sat in Grandpa Boyles' house and was drawn into the scariness of "The Thing" on his black and white television (I really am that old).  007 was a fantasy of what I could do to make things right.  And "In Cold Blood" took me into a disturbing world I did not know existed where you might never be able to make things right.  Years later I realized I would never be, in the laugh-at-yourself voice of Jon Lovitz, "The Master Thespian."  I was moved to tears by "Good Morning Vietnam."  I still can feel the sadness and irony of a country visually exploding in violence and death while Louis Armstrong's voice could be heard singing "It's A Wonderful World."

During the Oscars they showed a clip of movie folk talking about what makes a great movie.  One of them said "Every once in a while you find the truth."  What movie woke you up to a truth for your life, a truth about life, a truth worth risking your life to make it happen?  I wanted to be an actor for lots of reasons. One was because I believed I could help myself and others see new realities.  The right words, the well chosen words, even the silly words could reveal the truths I sought.

Well, as my readers know, I ended up on a smaller stage and played a singular role.  I was not well cast as "The Preacher" and I fearfully stepped out onto that stage Sunday after Sunday.  Rarely confident I had any word for others I hoped that every once in a while those listening found a truth.  It is the power of film, great films tucked in a sea of silly films.  It is the power of the spoken word to grab you and leave you moved to a new understanding.

Maybe in truth we are all 'actors' on the stage of our lives; actors in search of a role that gives life, wonder, joy, and meaning.  If we are lucky we find some answers we discover as truth.  If we are willing to share the stage with other actors they reach inside our 'role' and pull us out into the discovery that it can be a wonderful world even in the raw, painful moments (I am really good at run on sentences).  I should be in bed!  "Good night, Mrs. Calabash wherever you are!"