"What Do We Expect?"

I usually an amused or bemused by comments from television 'talking heads.'  Sometimes they are so over the top I cannot ignore the comments.  This is one of those times.  Over the weekend Liz Trotta (well known for her often controversial views and comments) commented on a reported dramatic increase in the number of sexual assaults in our military.  She made these comments: "Now what did they expect?  These people are in close contact." and "women in the military are being raped too much (italics mine)."

I know, or at least I believe, she is a minority voice about this serious issue in all areas of our lives.  I could dismiss this as an 'out there' view not shared by others.  However, having worked with 'words' most of my adult life I have seen the power of spoken words to hurt or help others.  Given that we continue to struggle with issues of respect and responsibility I offer the following observations.

One, seriously-"being raped too much?" Is there some kind of rating scale where we can tell when women are being raped too little, just enough, or too much?  One rape is too much!  One life scarred by such a traumatic event is too much.  Where do these fall on such a scale: a young girl is raped in a high school bathroom; a college coed is stalked and raped outside her dorm; a young woman on a date is sexually assaulted in a car; and an elderly woman in her own bedroom is attacked and raped?  There is no scale for such behavior.  Tragically we still struggle as a society with perceptions that impact behavior between genders.  Personal responsibility and societal tolerance of 'levels' of such behavior are part of our life together.

Two, seriously-'what did they expect?" I know what I expect.  I expect everyone, male and female, to treat each other with respect!  To value another person calls us to relate to them in ways that are not demeaning, harmful, or a dismissing of their intrinsic worth as a human being, a child of God.  Men and women, boys and girls are in 'close contact' all the time.  Whether it is in our homes, in schools, on sports teams, in community organizations, in churches, or the military 'close contact' is NOT PERMISSION to violate another person!

We cannot, without risk to our sense of being a human family, ignore such comments or dismiss them as simply the foolish comments of someone.  I respect and support the right of free speech for everyone.  I also expect responsibility when we exercise our free speech.  Thinking more carefully and clearly before we speak (one of my BIG problems) helps us preserve our sense of respect for all and strengthens the human family.